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How Well Do Your Customers Know YOU?
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"‘Know your customer’ is business 101. But Sam Walton asked the critical follow-up: ‘Do your customers know you?’ He realized that for a brand to be trusted, it must first be known.
His iconic implementation? Mandatory employee name tags. This small act of introduction broke down barriers, made a giant store feel local, and demonstrated that transparency begins with a name."
So, he rolled out an initiative requiring all employees to wear badges. Their purpose was to “help customers get to know the people they bought from.” But such connection goes beyond names; it’s rooted in self-disclosure, the process of revealing personal information to others. It often begins with a small, personal detail, like a name.
Self-Disclosure Strengthens Customer Relationships
Self-disclosure is a powerful relational tool. As a relationship develops, sharing opinions, preferences, and personal experiences moves the connection into more intimate and trusting territory. Crucially, because of its reciprocal nature, this act has incredible power: it builds comfort, establishes affinity, helps uncover critical Common Points of Interest (CPI), and fosters genuine trust.
A prime example is a beloved family-run furniture store in London. They masterfully elevated this principle by sharing their own story, the founders' passion for craftsmanship, the challenges of growing a family business, and their personal design philosophies. This intentional vulnerability transformed transactions into relationships. Customers didn't just see a retailer; they connected with a family and a narrative they wanted to support. By disclosing their own values and journey, they invited customers into a shared experience, building remarkable loyalty and setting themselves apart in a competitive market.
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Stepping into their store was like entering a warm, familial archive. Every wall was adorned with framed family photos, nostalgic newspaper clippings, and personal memorabilia that told the story of their lives. This welcoming atmosphere made shoppers feel instantly acquainted with the owners, sparking frequent and familiar conversations about children, family, and life in London.
Therefore, self-disclosure, when used authentically and judiciously, is a powerful business tool. It catalyzes emotional connection, which reduces perceived risk and builds comfort. This comfort is the bedrock of customer loyalty. As in James's case, it transforms a service provider into a trusted ally, ensuring customers don't just buy a product or meal, they buy into a relationship. And through that relationship, you genuinely get to know your customers better, creating a virtuous cycle of service and loyalty.
Building Trust Through Strategic Self-Disclosure
James has mastered a simple but powerful principle of connection: trust is a two-way street. He understands that before he can learn what’s valuable to his customers, it helps to first show them what he values. By extending a warm welcome and seamlessly sharing a bit about his own life, even showing a family photo, he does more than make small talk. He strategically uses appropriate self-disclosure to transform a transactional interaction into a personal connection.
This approach breaks down barriers and builds instant rapport. Customers don’t just see a salesperson; they see James, a relatable person with a life outside of work. This humanity fosters comfort, lowers defenses, and creates a foundation of mutual respect.
How well do your customers know you?
Like James, you can use thoughtful self-disclosure to build stronger, more trusting relationships with buyers. Here are some effective ways to do it:
1. Lead with Shared Humanity: Start with low-risk, common-ground topics. Briefly mention your weekend hike, a local restaurant you love, or your enthusiasm for a local sports team. This invites the other person to relate and share in return.
2. Reveal Your "Why": Don’t just state what you do; share why you’re passionate about it. A sentence like, “I got into this industry because I love helping families feel more secure,” reveals your motivation and character.
3. Use Anecdotes, Not Resumes: Instead of listing credentials, tell a short story about a challenge you helped a client overcome. This discloses your expertise and problem-solving style in a more engaging, memorable way.
4. Share a Relevant Non-Work Interest: If you discover a shared interest, gardening, technology, travel—don’t shy away from it. Mentioning your own related experience (“I tried growing tomatoes last summer with mixed results!”) deepens the personal connection.
5. The Power of a Picture: Like James, having a modest, genuine photo on your desk or in your virtual meeting background (like a family shot or a picture from a hobby) is an open invitation for conversation and connection.
Key Principle: Be Strategic, Not Oversharing.
The goal is reciprocity and relevance. Share just enough to open the door, then pivot the focus back to the customer. Effective self-disclosure is gradual, appropriate, and always in service of building comfort and understanding. When done right, it sends a clear message: I see you as a person, and you can see me as one, too.
By letting customers know you first, you create the safety for them to truly let you know them, and that’s where the most valuable insights and lasting partnerships are built.
What’s Your Story?
Every great business begins with a story, not just a résumé of services or a list of milestones, but a real, human moment that sparked it all.
Did you stumble into your line of work by accident? Were you solving a personal problem that turned into a passion? Was there a “lightning bolt” moment, a frustration, a conversation, or even a failure, that set you on your path?
That’s your story.
And it’s one of your most powerful marketing tools.
Your story builds trust, creates connection, and helps customers understand not just what you do—but why you do it. So write it down. Say it out loud. Polish it until it feels true and memorable. Add a little humor if it fits. Then share it everywhere, especially on your website.
Create a dedicated page titled “Our Story,” “My Journey,” or “Why I Do This” and invite visitors in. On my own site, you’ll find this on the “About Me” page, because people don’t just buy from businesses; they buy from people they know, like, and trust.
Tell your story well, and you’ll be unforgettable.
Start Blogging
Blogging has emerged as a powerful and popular medium for sharing your thoughts, experiences, and emotions. More than just an online journal, a blog serves as a dynamic platform where you can publish stories, articles, commentary, and curated links. It’s free, user-friendly, and an excellent way to keep your audience, whether friends, followers, or potential customers, informed about what’s happening in your world. Best of all, blogs foster two-way communication: readers can respond with their own comments, creating authentic dialogue and meaningful self-disclosure.
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Recommend Resources That Matter
In your newsletter, during phone calls, or in face-to-face conversations, share books, podcasts, music, tools, or other resources that have genuinely impacted you. Be specific: tell your customers how a particular book reshaped your business strategy, how a podcast transformed your mindset, or how a simple habit inspired by a CD deepened your relationships.
When you openly share what’s helped you grow, personally or professionally, you invite trust and connection. If your recommendations resonate, your customers won’t just appreciate your insight, they’ll be more likely to share their own discoveries with you. And that’s where real rapport begins: in mutual exchange and shared experience.
Remember, educating your customers isn’t just about your products or services, it’s also about revealing who you are. Thoughtful self-disclosure, paired with a spirit of reciprocity, builds deeper relationships.
Because in the end, success isn’t just about what you know, or even who you know. It’s about who knows you.
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